


The Legendary Battle of the Feared Pirate Captain Sir Dragonbeard and His Royal Majesty, King Roman V

by daring_elm



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: (unknowingly but still), Alternate Universe - Historical, Childhood shenanigans, Fluff, Gen, I love them so much, Kid Fic, Misgendering, Play Fighting, Trans!Virgil, brotherly prinxiety - Freeform, part of the enchanted universe, really they're just soft kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-21
Updated: 2019-08-21
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:26:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21682930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daring_elm/pseuds/daring_elm
Summary: His Royal Majesty, King Roman V must defend the palace ground from the feared pirate captain Sir Dragonbeard! With his courage, his wit and his sharpened and bejewelled sword, he might just be able to hold Sir Dragonbeard off until bedtime.Part of theEnchanteduniverse.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	The Legendary Battle of the Feared Pirate Captain Sir Dragonbeard and His Royal Majesty, King Roman V

The feared pirate captain Sir Dragonbeard crossed his arms, his cutlass brushing against his dirt-stained petticoat. “But I _wanna!_ ” he whined, stomping and making the puddle under him splash against his good shoes. He hesitated for a second, knowing Nanny would be furious at the state of his clothes, then glared at his rival, his round cheeks inflated to a pout.

His Royal Majesty, King Roman V inspected his sharpened and bejewelled sword, brushing some dust and loose bark off the handle. “But girls can’t be pirates,” he argued. “You should be a princess so I can rescue you, or- or-” His Royal Majesty failed to come up with another role for the feared pirate captain Sir Dragonbeard, so he just pouted as well, thrashing at Mother’s roses with his sharpened and bejewelled sword.

“Then I won’t be a girl.” The feared pirate captain Sir Dragonbeard dragged his blade across the ground, drawing circles with the tip. “And I’m not gonna be just a pirate either. I’m a _captain_. The feared pirate captain Sir Dragonbeard! _En garde!_ ” With those words (the feared pirate captain Sir Dragonbeard was too young to know what they meant, but they sounded mighty impressive), he thrust his cutlass to his Royal Majesty’s chest, adding a long, muddy smear to the pink overcoat.

“No fair!” his Royal Majesty, King Roman V whined, slapping Sir Dragonbeard’s arm with his sharpened and bejewelled sword. “I didn’t know we were starting yet!” He scowled, looking Sir Dragonbeard up and down. “You still look like a girl.”

“I’m not a girl,” the feared pirate captain Sir Dragonbeard protested. “I’m a pirate.”

“Well, you don’t look like that either. Here-” His Royal Majesty, King Roman V dropped his sharpened and bejewelled sword into the dirt, pushing the tip of Sir Dragonbeard’s sword off his chest.

The feared pirate captain Sir Dragonbeard held still as his Royal Majesty hid his braided hair under his royal hunting cap and tugged down his petticoats one by one until he was left with nothing but drawers. “Can I be a pirate now?”

His Royal Majesty, King Roman V nodded graciously. “ _Now_ you can be a pirate. En garde, thieving scum!” (Of course his Royal Majesty, King Roman V didn’t know what “en garde” meant either- but the feared pirate captain Sir Dragonbeard had said it earlier, and it sounded brave and very distinguished, so he had to say it as well. His bravery more than matched that of Sir Dragonbeard, after all.) He picked up his sharpened and bejewelled sword off the ground, pointing what had been the handle but was newly designated as the tip at his opponent.

“Ha! You should surrender, your Majesty, for I won’t ever give up my treasures!” The feared pirate captain Sir Dragonbeard jumped back, his cutlass clashing against his Royal Majesty’s sharpened and bejewelled sword.

“I’ll never surrender!” His Royal Majesty, King Roman V spoke with a slight lisp his teacher had been meaning to train him out of, but hadn’t managed to fully hide yet. He thrust his sharpened and bejewelled sword forward, but Sir Dragonbeard twisted away at the last second. “Where is your treasure hidden, Captain? I’ll find it someday!”

“No, you shan’t!” the feared pirate captain Sir Dragonbeard replied (he could say his “s"s perfectly and had promised to train his Royal Majesty in pronunciation, in exchange for swordfighting lessons). "I’ve hidden it on an island far away, and you’ll never find it, not with all your armies!”

“Oh, and where is this island?” His Royal Majesty, King Roman V stepped forward, making a lot of fancy movements with his sharpened and bejewelled sword and only nearly losing his grip on the handle. A soldier in Father’s army had been showing off those tricks the other day, and his Royal Majesty was determined to learn them all as well.

The feared pirate captain Sir Dragonbeard thought for a moment, continuing to smash his cutlass against his Royal Majesty’s sharpened and bejewelled sword without any particular attention to the action. “Italy,” he finally decided. Yes, that sounded far away enough.

“And where in Italy?” His Royal Majesty, King Roman V nearly slipped on the puddle Sir Dragonbeard had been mucking about with minutes ago. He straightened himself out quickly, then focused on the feared pirate captain Sir Dragonbeard again.

“Can’t tell you that, dummy! Then you’d find my treasure!” The feared pirate captain Sir Dragonbeard knocked his Royal Majesty on the head with his cutlass, getting mud in his hair.

“Hey, you can’t call me that! Call me ‘your Majesty’!” his Royal Majesty, King Roman V complained. He knocked Sir Dragonbeard right back, smearing dirt on his arm.

“Then you have to call me 'Feared Pirate Captain Sir Dragonbeard’!” The feared pirate captain Sir Dragonbeard bashed his cutlass into his Royal Majesty’s sharpened and bejewelled sword, crying out when it splintered and wood chips went flying everywhere. “You broke my cutlass!” he cried, looking at his Royal Majesty with horror.

“I did not! You broke it yourself!” His Royal Majesty, King Roman V crossed his arms, his sharpened and bejewelled sword continuing to cover every inch of cloth it touched with filth. “Now you’re unarmed! _Surrender!_ ”

“No, it’s not fair when I don’t have a weapon!” The feared pirate captain Sir Dragonbeard dodged his Royal Majesty’s sharpened and bejewelled sword when it was swung at him.

“Tough luck,” his Royal Majesty, King Roman V replied with a shrug. He prodded Sir Dragonbeard’s chest with his sharpened and bejewelled sword.

“Then I’ll just fight you like that! _Hah!_ ” The feared pirate captain Sir Dragonbeard tackled his Royal Majesty, King Roman V, laughing at the King’s new position. He began swiping at his Royal Majesty’s face, growling when the same grabbed his wrist and wrestled him off.

Soon his Royal Majesty, King Roman V had the upper hand again, sitting on Sir Dragonbeard’s legs while both of them fought to get in a punch. The sharpened and bejewelled sword and what was left of the cutlass laid next to them, entirely forgotten.

The feared pirate captain Sir Dragonbeard kicked and struggled, his cap coming loose and falling in the mud. Another thing Nanny would be furious about- but right now, he couldn’t care less. He was in the middle of a legendary battle, after all, and there was no time to watch out for things like good clothing.

“Do you surrender, Sir Dragonbeard?” His Royal Majesty, King Roman V asked, his eyes shining.

“ _Never!_ ” The feared pirate captain Sir Dragonbeard took to tickling his Royal Majesty’s sides, making him topple over and burst into giggles.

“ _Hey!_ ” His Royal Majesty, King Roman V squeaked, scowling when Sir Dragonbeard jumped up. “I’m not done with you! Show me your treasure!” (His Royal Majesty wasn’t quite sure what was in a pirate’s treasure, but he knew it had to be something valuable, most likely gold and stuff. Otherwise pirates wouldn’t hide it so well.) He stood up as well, brushing his dirt-covered hands over his equally dirt-covered breeches.

“You’ll never find my treasure!” (Sir Dragonbeard was just as unsure what was usually in a pirate’s treasure- but he assumed there were fancy dresses and jewellery in it, as he had been told over and over that those were things he had to take special care of, and that they were too expensive to get lost so soon. It made sense to him that pirates would want to steal such expensive things.) “I’m the only one who knows where it is, and I’m not telling you!” The feared pirate captain Sir Dragonbeard stuck out his tongue.

“I’ll make you tell me, Pirate!” His Royal Majesty, King Roman V picked his sharpened and bejewelled sword off the ground again, pointing it at Sir Dragonbeard.

“You wish, your Majesty!” The feared pirate captain Sir Dragonbeard pulled the cursed sword of the dead from the roses, careful not to get any thorns stuck to his sleeve. Once his weapon was retrieved, he pointed the cursed sword of the dead at his Royal Majesty. “I’ll defeat you, no-”

The feared pirate captain Sir Dragonbeard was interrupted by a cry out from the door. “What on _earth_ happened to your clothes? Your Highness, your mother will be informed of this!”

Elisabeth dropped the old branch, looking down in shame. Roman just lowered his stick, rubbing at a smear of mud on his embroidered coat.

Nanny marched over, her eyes sparkling with fury. She grabbed Elisabeth’s wrist and went around to collect the skirts and petticoats scattered over the lawn. “You can’t just go wrestling in the mud like a pig,” she scolded. “It’s not what princesses do. What will the guests think?”

Elisabeth continued to stare at a rock defiantly, wiping away tears gathering in her eyes with her filthy sleeve, dragging a stripe of brown over her face. Her wrist hurt from how tightly Nanny was holding it.

“And _you!_ ” Nanny turned to glare at Roman next, who glared back with all the force he could gather. “Monsieur Georges will come to take care of you, but know that you should be ashamed, your Highness. You’re old enough to know better. His Majesty would be disappointed by your behaviour.”

Roman dropped his stick on the ground, averting his eyes. His throat tightened, his lip trembling, but he refused to cry.

Elisabeth gave him a tiny, teary smile before she was dragged off. “It was an honour, your Majesty.”

Roman returned the smile, adding a bow. “Likewise, Sire.”


End file.
